First Us, Then You...

It is bad enough that your kind decided long ago to enslave dolphins and dumb us down into pathetic proxies of our wild counterparts, forced to perform demeaning animal tricks for your amusement, but this really takes the cake (or should I say the herring). An organization with the alphabet soup acronym of SWBGRRC, which stands for Sea World and Busch Gardens Reproductive Research Center, is conducting what they call ‘preferential sex-selection reproductive research for exotic animals’. Say what? You heard me; they are using technology to separate X and Y sperm so that zoological institutions can manage the genetic diversity of their captive animals. Whoa. How exciting! Not only are dolphins no longer allowed to procreate naturally in captivity (artificial insemination lacks a certain ‘je ne sais pas quoi’) but now our keepers can decide the gender of our offspring. And what comes after that? Eye color? Size of dorsal fin? Jumping ability? There is even talk that this technology will have application to control animal diversity in the wild. Oh the wonder of it all! But watch out people, first us dolphins, and then, you.