Unicorns Are Back: Let's Kill Them.

In 2004, Canada’s committee on endangered wildlife recommended listing the Narwhal as a ‘species of special concern’, and in 2008, an international study identified this spiral-tusked whale as the species most susceptible to the effects of retreating Arctic sea-ice (contrary to views that polar bears are most vulnerable). Against this ominous backdrop, six researchers from Canada, the U.S., and Greenland developed a new system for counting Narwhals, and have recently concluded that the population in Canada’s northeastern waters is higher than was originally thought. However, in an astonishing display of perverted logic, the project team led by Canadian federal Fisheries and Oceans scientist, Pierre Richard, has concluded that, “there is a large population out there, one that can probably sustain a large hunt.” What! Float that by me again: the number of these beautiful whales who gave rise to the myth of unicorns is higher than you thought so let's go kill them! I can think of several other conclusions that might be drawn from this study, but recommending the slaughter of Narwhals is not one of them. Is there no end to the hubris and blood lust of humankind? I guess not. Watch out polar bears, you may be next.

The PICWW 3: Snow White and the Unicorns.

This is the third edition in my Politically Incorrect Whale Watcher series. Today let us consider Belugas and their close relatives, Narwhals. They are medium-sized, highly gregarious whales that live in frigid Arctic waters. Belugas are snow white in color and among the most vocal of all whales, with glorious singing voices. Sadly, in addition to being beautiful, they are slow swimmers and easily captured, which makes them a common prisoner in oceanariums—but let us not go there (hint, hint). In contrast, Narwhals are mottled black and white in color but what makes them unique is the long spiral tusks of the males that inevitably links them with tales of the fabled unicorn. Males use these horns to impress the females. (Actually, some females also have them which is rather awkward to explain). These tusks are probably what keeps them from being captured. Can you imagine how tricky it would be for trainers to teach them to do stupid animal tricks without getting skewered? At any rate, I am particularly fond of my cousins, Snow White and the Unicorns, but I hope you only ever see them on Animal Planet or in the wild—dress warmly if you go.