DO...YOU...SPEAK...ENGLISH???

Did you ever notice that when Americans (and to be fair, sometimes even the British or their Colonial cousins) try to communicate with someone who doesn't speak English, they always talk v--e--r--y s--l--o--w--l--y or REALLY, REALLY LOUD? It's as if they expect that by doing this the other person is suddenly going to smile and say "Oh that! Why didn't you say so?"

To me that's akin to the guy in California who takes people out in his catamaran with an underwater pod and let's them play different sounds, including previously recorded whale song, over speakers to see if passing whales or dolphins react.

Can't you just imagine what the whales must think of this. Picture this, two Humpbacks are out there gulping down anchovies by the gazillions, and along comes this catamaran filled with tourists. Here is what the conversation between the whales might sound like. "Oh God, here come those stupid humans again. Just watch, they're going to play that annoying conversation they recorded of a Grey Whale last week and expect us to roll over and let them scratch our bellies."

Poor whales. Silly us. Do Berlitz or Rosetta Stone offer a course in Whalish??? No? Pity!